August is a month full of celebration for us. We didn’t have enough budget and we are saving up so we didn’t really want extravagant celebrations. We opted for celebrations that doesn’t cost much and does not eat up much of our time. Our target was to celebrate without too much hassle.

For our 4th anniversary, we stayed in the house. I prepared the foods and greeted the hubby when he came home. I wasn’t expecting anything from him because he’s not really the type of person who loves to surprise his partner. I’m the one who loves to give gifts and surprises but he’s the opposite. So, I was in awe when he came at home bringing a large bouquet of flowers. A couple of years before, when I mentioned how much I wanted to receive flowers, he said it’s expensive and not really that important. So, I was really surprised and speechless when he did it. It was my first time receiving an extravagant flower. He really saw how happy I was and I knew that he was thinking he didn’t make any mistake in his surprise. I was truly surprise. We ate and watched our favorite shows. I gave him a very simple gift, a polo that really looks nice on him.

For me and my daughter’s birthday, we went to Co Jordan. We went fishing there and relaxed in a big pond with lots of cottages together with many other families. The place was full of visitors. We ordered sea foods and had fun eating and catching fishes. We were surprised by how easy it is to catch fish from there. We brought home more than 1 kilo of bangus. Those were our catch. Then, we made our own home made ice cream and brought cake for our birthday. There you go, it went that simple, private and stress free. Yet, we were never less than happy than last year when we had a full blast celebration. We were happy on our decision to make it a low key celebration but something that we will treasure.

For me, life is pretty simple. We might be aiming for all those big houses and Ferrari parts but then after achievin these things we make the big realization that most of the things that makes us truly happy does not even cost much.

This morning, she was asking my baby to behave and I just didn’t like the way she shouted at her. I told my mom not to do it that way with the little one and I told her that if she didn’t want what she’s doing anymore, she should stay way from us. I totally lost my cool. I left right away as I was headed to work. In my mind, what if I won’t wait till January or February next year to stop working? What if I stop working right now. As in, right now. So my mom will be free and I can stay and work at home and take care of the little one with the help of a yaya? I knew it could be a drastic decision. I read about the struggles of other mom’s online. I read the site of a good friend online who has been writing about her family struggles and I would say, it helped a lot. What I’m going through is so much less painful than what she’s going through. I so hope that I would have the courage to continue with our original plans so we will really be settled. But, I am no longer very sure if I can still see it through. I so wanted to quit now.

Today, I got myself my first Philhealth ID that can serve as my 2nd government ID. Usually, in most transactions, you need 2 valid ID’s. Next, I headed to HSBC to inquire how to apply for a credit card. Finally, I got started. For me, this is already a good thing. I have gained momentum and achieved small successes that will lead me to our ultimate goals. I feel empowered to move on to the next steps.

Funny how I procrastinated for so long to get this Philhealth ID and to get a credit card. When I got to Philhealth, it only took 15 minutes of my time. Goodness gracious! If I had known it was that easy, I could have done it way earlier. Before, credit card application seemed to be way too complicated for me but when I checked the requirements given by their staff, it was way more understandable than it was before. I think, I am on my way to fulfilling my goals now.

Next steps? I need to ask for a written account proving that we are living on a house we rented with the signature of our landlord. I also need to ask for her ID. Once I have these requirements, I will be securing photocopies of the rest of the requirements which are already in my hand and proceed to HSBC to submit the requirements. Sounds simple? I don’t think it will be easy as it sounds but I just really have to do them so I can finally have my credit card.

For now, let me end this post and think about what to wear tomorrow. Gosh! Life is a little bit harder nowadays. Full of decisions to make. It used to be that picking up the latest trends of hip hop clothing was my only problem before. Haha!

Right now, major and big plans are on our way towards a better life that thinking about Blue Cross NC makes me overwhelmed. I had to put off other good things for now in favor of our plans. We had to make major changes and start as soon as we can. Each day, I am focusing myself on these goals. I plan to think about these goals at least 30 minutes each day so I am focused on these plans to make sure this will come into completion. I could be fickle minded and switch goals as soon as I want, but I really want to stick through this one. I am willing to pay the price for me to fulfill these plans.

At the start of each of my day from now on, I want to think about the following;

a. all the sacrifices my mom did for me and my sister. i wanted her to see that we are already living a good life so she will be well rested. i want her to have the rest and the life that she deserves for herself after spending all her time with us and for us, specially for me.this is one of my biggest motivators.

b. i want to have a thankful heart. no matter how small, i should celebrate and give thanks to the Lord. having a thankful heart creates a feeling of abundance. i already have all that I need. and I work to give out and reach out not to receive.

c. i will contribute in every i could specially on those areas that i feel passionate about. i am needed in this planet and i have special tasks. i will be a master in everything that i do and show excellence thereof. i have passion for what i do and i love what i do.

d. no matter how tough the going gets, i will never complain and i will not have a complaining grumpy heart. i will not mind the challenges and difficulties much but focus on the good things and the improvements.

e. i want to think about the freedom i will be getting once i am out of work. i no longer have to force myself to wake up early each and every day. i won’t be hating the things that i am doing or i won’t be doing things only because i need to. i won’t have to deal with people i don’t really like. i can work in my own terms, i can choose what time to work and how much money to work. every thing is under my control. i am free. yes! I am free…

When my 3 year old daughter was still a few months old, I so wanted to have those ergo baby carrier but we could never afford it at that time. So, I never was able to bring her anywhere as often as I wanted to. I never was able to buy all those nice baby stuff that a mom usually buys when she gets pregnant or gives birth. But I tried my best to give anything that I had in my hands to my daughter.

A mom would usually go beyond miles to give her children what they need. A mom is a hero. And I fully understood what it is to be a mom when I became one. There’s nothing like a Mother. Now, all that I want is to raise my child well. I want her to see life in a positive and good way. Though, not all good things happen to a person, we need to learn to accept everything and find the good in anything that happens to us.

As a child, I never had those grand Disney vacations to make me happy. I only had simple toys. Some of them cost a little while most of them doesn’t cost anything at all. And yet, I could recall that those were one of my happiest memories ever. Life is full of irony. What makes us truly happy are not really the grand and big things but the simple things in life that does not even cost anything at all.

SALT is such a nice movie. Perfect for those who love suspense, action and thrills while watching life stories on screen. Yesterday, I watched it with my husband. I had been convincing him for a while to watch it but he thinks it’s not a very nice movie. In fact, when we bought DVD’s in colon for the past weeks, he always neglects this one even if I tell him it’s nice. Then, finally, yesterday we had no other choice since Inception was still not showing. Only the IMAX feature was available.

So, we watched it and I was blown away by the movie. In fact, he was more blown away by it. He kept thanking me for insisting on the movie. He was more surprised than ever that he never expected the greatness of the movie. He loves action and thrills and that’s what he got. From the moment a man convicted SALT and accused him of being a terrorist who has plans of killing the Russian President, and from the moment the door locks, everything was already very quick and exciting.

Today I am thankful for the extra tasks and visit from the Sheriff. I am extra thankful because this will surely add to my savings. I am hoping and praying that by January next year, I can finally resign in my job and fulfill my dreams of being a full time housewife and a freelancer. I am planning to add the extra bucks in my savings. I still have a very minimal savings but I resolved to see to it that I save at least 10 thousand pesos monthly from now on until the next months to come until January 2011.

I initially planned to get a house for our family so we won’t have to keep renting and so our rent will be used to pay for the amortization instead and the house can be can be something that we can call - ours; however, that plan will not allow me to save up and most of all, it won’t allow me to resign by next year. I would be forced to keep working to make sure we will always have something to pay for the amortization. To add to that is the equity of the house, which usually amounts much. It would also make me very occupied doing stuff to make sure the house will be paid in time. So i really wouldn’t be able to save much because of the expenses of having a new house.

So, there has been few choices. First choice, to get a brand new house for the family through pag ibig and keep working until the next few years to come. Second choice, to get a brand new house for the family then start a business with the help of my sister so I can resign by next year. This choice is good but involves a great risk though. We never know how the business would go, so I’m kinda doubtful on this. This will surely involve a lot of pressure. Third choice is the one which does not involve too much hassle. I only need to save as much as I can to add to our emergency fund and resign by January next week, as originally planned.

I decided to go for the last plan, which is to resign this January. I have to revert to this original plan. Hopefully by January 2011, I already have saved around 100,000 pesos for our emergency fund. After that, we will be busy finding another location where we can live a little more peacefully than where we are right now. That would involve a little cost for the advance payment and setting up of the place where we will be living soon. I will check if my sister wants to invest in my home business. If yes! very good because I will use her money for the capital. I need around 30-50 thousand to make it happen. By then, I would become a full time blogger and freelancer making insurance reviews or any kind of reviews for different clients worldwide.

I heard many adults wanting to go back to their younger days because they wanted to get away from all the responsibilities of being an adult. Truly enough, adulthood is not easy. When we were kids, we all wanted to grow up as fast as we could. When we were younger, we did all that we wanted to do. Sleep all day, skip classes, sleep late, play as much as we want. Life seems to be less complicated and more fun.

And now that we’re grown up, we learned that we no longer have as much choices as we have. Whether we like it or not, we have to work hard to make a living. Most often, we get tied to a job we don’t even like doing but which we cannot avoid because we simply cannot afford to. Many adults can relate to this thinking. Yes! being an adult is not easy. It is therefore, an imperative to equip our youngs to have all the coping skills necessary for them to keep up and be successful adults someday.

As an adult, we have to deal with our job and all issues that could surface from there. We have to take care of our kids and make sure we raise them really well. We have to have the best relationship with our husbands/wives or else we are nothing but failures. All of these, we juggle in this experience called life. It is never easy and there will be a hundred or even thousands of struggles and troubles every single day. We have to have a source of strength to keep us going. Our inner strength coming from the one and only source of all strength: our Father.

And no matter how difficult it is. We have to keep fighting and thriving every single day. We have to live the best life as much as we can. We need to maximize our full potential and express ourselves to our fullest. We need to find strategic ways to achieve our dreams in an easier way. Such as for those wanted to go to school while working in a full time job. There are already many online schools right now that can allow us to juggle these responsibilities. With all these technologies available, with the help of supportive friends and family, and most of all, with the strength from God, we can make it. We can be successful in our own terms.

I just watched the movie, post grad today. It helped me realize a lot of things. Things that I have already realized way before. The movie only strengthened my beliefs about dreams and about life itself. The movie teaches that in life it’s not our dreams or the things we wanna do that really matters the most. What matters are the people we share our dreams with. Whether it be our parents, our friends or a special someone. Sometimes, we get too focused on the details of our dreams that we forget the real reasons for everything that we are doing. We lose sight of what’s important and what it is that we really wanted. And in the end… we end up empty even after getting the very thing that we so wanted to have.

People nowadays are very busy running and chasing after lives. They chase after the next best thing, whether, it be a dream or a material possession they’ve always wanted to have. They forget the people in their lives and neglect them because of their busyness in pursuing their dreams.
It is not bad to dream. In fact, the happiest people in the planet are those who pursued their greatest passions in life. The sad thing is, focusing too much on these dreams and forgetting about the people we share these dreams with.

I used to be really really ambitious. My ambitions were as high as the buildings in big cities. I thought I was so sure of what I wanted to reach in my life. Life never gave me what I wanted or planned initially. Instead, it taught me a lot of lessons. Lessons that helped me grow as a person and helped me know myself better. Lessons that I read in books but never fully understood until I was able to totally experienced its fulfillment.

Yes! most often than not, life turns out differently than how we plan it would be. As of now, I no longer have definitely goals for the next years to come. But, it doesn’t mean I won’t be achieving anything. I only have to listen within to what truly matters to me and use it as a guide to make decisions that will lead me to the best that life has to offer. Not in my own terms, but in its own term. I will wait and be patient and not resist in life. I will be flexible and just go with the flow.
Happily waiting and taking it one day at a time, until I can say that I have everything that I’ve always wanted. Yes! Life happens when we don’t force it.