Creative Thoughts

Archive for October, 2009

I’ve always dreamed to have my own laptop. Ever since I was in high school I wanted to have one. My fascination to the internet is one of the reasons why I wanted to have a laptop. But, the greatness of the device itself is the main reason why. I wanted to be able to use internet anywhere anytime I want to. It took very long for me to finally have it. Oftentimes, I would dream or imagine about it. I can remember the warm feelings I get everytime I would imagine to have one.

Nowadays I not only dream of it but I really believe that I needed it. As a blogger it is always wise to have a fast computer and an efficient machine that can help you achieve the results you want. Now, I can level up my money making  journey online plus I can also enjoy connecting more with others. I am so happy when I finally had my laptop. I can’t get enough of it. Now, I have a friend when it comes to my blogging life. It’s even awesome like those POS systems I see in supermarkets.

OS Name    Microsoft® Windows Vista™ Home Premium
Version    6.0.6001 Service Pack 1 Build 6001
Other OS Description     Not Available
OS Manufacturer    Microsoft Corporation
System Name    LAPTOP-MELODY
System Manufacturer    Acer
System Model    Aspire 5720Z
System Type    X86-based PC
Processor    Intel(R) Pentium(R) Dual  CPU  T2330  @ 1.60GHz, 1600 Mhz, 2 Core(s), 2 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date    Acer V1.42, 6/11/2008
SMBIOS Version    2.4
Windows Directory    C:\Windows
System Directory    C:\Windows\system32
Boot Device    \Device\HarddiskVolume1
Locale    United States
Hardware Abstraction Layer    Version = “6.0.6001.18000″
User Name    LAPTOP-MELODY\FRED
Time Zone    Taipei Standard Time
Installed Physical Memory (RAM)    2.00 GB
Total Physical Memory    1.99 GB
Available Physical Memory    0.98 GB
Total Virtual Memory    4.21 GB
Available Virtual Memory    3.15 GB
Page File Space    2.28 GB
Page File    C:\pagefile.sys

Me and my hubby loves to watch movies so much. We either buy original VCD’s or rent in Video City. Rental fee for each cd is 16 pesos, and the branch near our place doesn’t have a complete complete collection of movies. They don’t have the latest ones and the old nice ones. If they have it, its usually late for the new ones. I’ve been wanting to learn how to download movies on the net. I did not bother before, cause I know our slow 2nd hand desktop wont be able to make it. Now that I do have a laptop, I immediately asked a friend how to do the download. I’m thankful that Jennie gave me the information that I need. They even assisted me on the installations and on the process  that I have to do. Finally, I learned and have made my 2nd successful downloads. The very first failure was really disappointing. I spent the whole day downloading a large file believing it will work. But, it did not work and I could not view the movie. So, I asked Jennie and I realized I need it download something like an AVI file orf MP4. I learned that not everything listed on the results will be viewable as what I thought at first. It was Tuesdays With Morrie, which is a life story of a man who lived life passionately until his very end. His life and lessons he wants to impart to everyone has been documented by a young man named Mitch Albom, who turned it into a book. The book has been a bestseller. The first attempt as unsuccessful. But I tried again after consulting to Jennie. So, I downloaded again and it was successfully downloaded after about 2 hours or so as opposed to the almost a day I spent with the erroneous one. Downloading a movie is not as easy as inquiring about life insurance rates . You could spent a day or two just downloading that file. The good thing is that its free plus there is a huge collection of any movie you would like to watch until in rental shops which has limited collection. It’s a great feeling after you made your successful download. You can download your movies at http://thepiratebay.org. Before you can download, you have to download a program that supports torrent files. Search it in the web and you will find the common or popular programs. I myself am using a program called uTorrent.

I am so excited at this moment because 3 hours from now, will be the start of my day off. I have some plans for the weekend. For sure, it will be a quiet busy 2 days off, compared to the previous ones. Now, I have a laptop to use and I will surely be blogging and coping up with the lost times in the blogging world. I plan to focus more on blogging since I have the tool. Before, I rarely blog because my pc at home is very very slow and its a waste of time for me to force myself using it. I only use it for very important matters such as in writing posts and etc. But for dropping ec and downloads, huh….never mind. Its not the connection which is the problem but the computer itself. Finally one day, it refused to start up. The CPU is alright, but the monitor wont turn on for some reasons.

So, this day off, I will have lots of things to do. Here are some things I plan to do.

1. Have my nails pedicured.

2. Buy a gift for my only godson whose turning 1 year old first week of November.

3. Buy a bag for my new laptop. Weeeeee!!!!! This one excites me

4. Buy a headset if there’s none in the house.

5. Movies Marathon

6. Go to PLDT Business Office this Monday

7. Doctor check up on Monday for my scoliosis

8. Blog…..Blog……and Blog……

9. Play with baby bless

10. Go to IT Park for my “me” time. Meditate on Life.

First Sunday of October – that was my first ever Sunday of being a praise and worship song leader. It was horrying, fun, exciting and scary. But when I think about it right now, there shouldn’t be anything I should be shy or afraid of. I should have just purely enjoyed it. But of course, I cannot blame myself, because it was my first time. And as a first timer, I think I really did very well.

I never thought I could actually do it. I never thought I could sing that well since those songs are not really very very familiar to me for a long time. I only came to know most of them when I became a Born Again Christian. My husband was the one who played the guitar. We only practiced the night before but of course I had been practicing the songs a week earlier. For the entire week, I would lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and sing with a very loud voice. I also had to memorize the lyrics of the songs. I sang around 6 or 7 songs. I like singing in the bathroom because we don’t have microphone at home and in the bathroom my voice is louder and its like I am on microphone so I love it there.

After the praise and worship, the husband congratulated me and I felt it was really a sincere praise from him. It’s like he could not believe I just actually did it. He’s not very word but I felt the emotions of pride on his words and I’m just so happy about it. It was for God and the praise from my husband was a bonus for it. My husband has always been proud of me but he is not just showy, so I really appreciate times like these when I can feel and actually proved how much he proud he is of me. It’s almost the time of the year again when gift giving is very common, and right now we are already thinking about what holiday gifts we could give each other. It doesn’t have to be grand at all. Just a reminder that we value each other.

I came across a blog few hours ago entitled A Wife’s Charmed Life. The header was enticing with the picture of the author on it wearing a nice dress and a nice enticing smile. I did not hesitate to read over. I read few of the recent articles and I like the way she writes. She is a Filipina who is in Sydney right now with her husband. I still know a little about her, and I’m still in the process of getting to know her more. One thing I noticed that got me into reading her blog? It seems like she is a very positive person. By the way she talks or writes, you will feel her positive energy, her happiness and faith in life. I like people like that. There are a lot of blogs out there, and all you hear from them are whines and complaints about life being unfair.

But, this woman is full of happiness and energy and it makes me like her and her writings. She seems to be really enjoying her life and she seems to be having a lot of fun in her life. Few of the lines she said that I like most is this, ” Life is too short to worry. Life is too short to not have faith. Life is too short to not live in the moment.”This she said in relation to being worried to her mother and family in Manila affected by typhoon Ondoy and Pepeng.

I am really inspired by this person, and by now I have read a few of her writings and I am looking forward to reading all of her entries, if possible and if time permits. It’s nice to discovered another good writer, a Filipino writer.

One of the things I like about her is because she’s into some self-development practices which I’m into as well such as affirmations, setting a “me” time for oneself and the like. That’s why I can surely relate to the things she is writing about. Take a peek at her site here at A Wife’s Charmed Life.

I like her principles as a woman. She’s not taking any sort of
weight loss pills but she has a slim figure and she dresses really well. She believes that taking care of one self’s is very important specially for women with partners. I’m really learning a lot from her.

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
by Rev. Ronald McFadden

If you’re not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples
and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye.”
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone,
don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone
or that what you see as faults aren’t really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If  you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you’ve got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.

You  and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs,
values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.

You are two unique individual children of God who have decided
to share a life together.


Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other?

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other,
or do you compete,compare, and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can’t take someone to the altar to alter him or her.

You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life”,
you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible
for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not
the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship!

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be
in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks,
some getaway time without business or children and
daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).


Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.


Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together,
not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without
feeling insecure.

Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can’t always be together.
Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.

Don’t try to control one another. Learn each other’s
family  situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don’t put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode
as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain
replace the passion.
The difference between ‘United’ and ‘Untied’ is where you put the i.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the
Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

We are planning to start a photocopying business to cater needs of students and employees in offices. I have known people saying this is a profitable business. I also asked opinion to a pastor who used to work in a company selling photocopying machines. I already proposed to my sister, and she said she will think about it first. So, here I am praying, waiting and hoping that she will agree with it. If ever she agrees, I really have to get busy setting this up. I need to do this really good so both of our resources will not be wasted. Once, she agrees and gives me the money, since she puts her share and I do the same, I have to contact the photocopying company and buy that available powder photocopying machine. I do hope this generates good income for both of us. If it will be successful, I plan to extend and add more locations until we get a really good amount of passive income monthly. I do hope this is the business I have been waiting for. Who knows, because of this, I might be able to afford quitting my job and just be a businesswoman and work at home woman. I wanna be like those business plan writers who get paid for their writing skills. Well, I’m more into creative writing. It’s still really different when YOU ARE THE BOSS! By the way, aside from the photocopy, we will be selling cellphone loads as well. Super business minded, noh? Actually, this would be my very first business if ever. So, God, please guide me.

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”

Peter T. Mcintyre

I wish I could tell you that dealing with different people, socializing and mingling with them is my strength, but its not. I used to be really hyperactive and talkative back in my elementary days. I was physically active, adventurous, happy and fearless. Then, it happened. My family crashed. I felt broken, helpless and very mad with the rest of the world. I tried to revenge by giving my best in school, and at the same time disconnecting myself with the rest of the world. I was snobbish, a little selfish and numb. I sometimes show no emotion. While leaving with our strict and achiever relatives, (since we  don’t have our own family),  I became a people pleaser instead of becoming true to myself. I became dependent on other’s feedback and praise. I became addicted to them. I did not notice that I wasn’t enjoying the things I was doing back then, but were doing them to cope up with the pressure from my relatives and also from peers and teachers since I was always after their approval and praise. If I’m not number one, I’m no good. If I’m not perfect, I’m not happy. I was living a life after false achievements. It’s safe to say that I have a lot of negativity back then.
It takes a lot for old habits to die. I’m not expecting to change in a snap, cause until now, I’m still a WORK IN PROGRESS. I take credit for the fact that I have the courage to admit it to myself and even to share it to you guys. I want to enjoy my life and to have full of positivity and happiness from now on. So, I promise myself from now on that I will pro actively be involve  in my life and to become  the person I’d like to be. I’m far from there, but  I know that if I take every small step everyday, one day, I will become a whole new person.

What changes do I like to see in myself

1. I hope that one day my fear of being with a group of people, even those I’m not so familiar with will be gone. I don’t want to be silent and shy anymore. I don’t want to feel scared to talk, express my thoughts and be myself.

2. I want to be carefree and not think so much of what other people think of me. I have to bear in mind that how other people perceives me has no effect on who I am as a person. They can only affect me if I allow them to do so.

3. I want to have a positive vibe that when people see me their moods lighten up as they get inspired by my aura. I’d like to be perceived as a happy, positive and carefree person.

Most people have issues like me. For those who are experiencing what I am experiencing, I know they can relate to what I am saying here. I do hope that my journey will serve as an inspiration to all of you guys having the same trouble in their life. I’d like you to know that its possible to free ourselves from this bondage created by our own psychological thoughts patterns. I’d like you to know that its possible to change, to become better. It may be hard but its not impossible.  I will keep you posted on my progress and I will write here regularly. So, for that matter this journal will serve as an outlet of my emotions plus a way for me to track my progress regarding my socialization skills and fear of socializing and dealing with people specially those that I’m not very familiar with.

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

There are times, I would pretend to be very very confident even if I am screaming of fear inside. Pretensions doesn’t do you so much good. You might be able to convince others, but you can’t fool yourself. So, you really have to start with facing your fears and doubts and insecurities first. I like this song very much – The Warrior Is A Child. I can pretty much relate to this situation. I think, we can get the greatest security and confidence from God. With God we can have peace of mind and we can be confident that there is nothing we cannot do. We are like children, and our strengths are nothing compared to His. No matter how successful and confident a person is, that person will always have fears and insecurities. So, I would say, we may show we are tough/warrior-like but there will always be some point when inside we fear uncertain and insecure and only God can fill that emptiness and space up. This also reminds us not to be jealous of others who look very confident and secure and all that, cause you don’t really know whats inside them. You don’t know the truth, and you don’t know that deep inside they are children and they also cry.

THE WARRIOR IS A CHILD

Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears

(Chorus)

They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
‘Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I’m amazing
Never face retreat
But they don’t see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

Chorus x2

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

I’ll tell you guys I’m not the worst case of people who have self-esteem issues. I am really good with faking my emotions. There were a lot of people who admired, adored, praised and imitated me thinking I’m perfect because of my achievements in school and involvements. But, they didn’t know that I also had personal issues. I am glad I have these issues as I know there’s a purpose for all of these, and I’m thinking God just wants me to rise above these difficulties and become the best that I can be. In the long run, it doesn’t matter how people think about you, whether they think you look confident or shy, but it matters more on how you feel inside. Cause when you feel good about yourself it will show evidently on your outside and thats what people will see in the long run. You can’t hide forever.

I would go for the saying: Aim to express not to impress. Well, that sounds very right and it really does makes sense.

I am waiting for a laptop to be provided by our company. Since, I am now in QA, I am entitled to have one laptop. I am eagerly waiting for it as my 2nd hand desktop computer at home has finally given up and has been refusing to operate since last week. That explains my infrequent posts, since I only borrow a laptop here in the office. I hope that they will give it soon so I can take it home and anywhere I want to use internet. I am really so excited since I have always wanted to have a laptop. It feels like I’ve wanted it since forever, and finally now, that dream is about to come true.

Forgive me for being so childish. I am a woman who enjoys simple pleasures. I enjoy things like this. I want to enjoy life and things on earth rather than being attached on them. Our job requires us to be always sitting on a chair. So, by now I am already researching about how to lose belly fat , just in case my tummy shows belly fats. Hahha. My coworker showed hers, and I was like “what???” I was laughing so hard. But, to me I can’t imagine how possible that would be, cause I’m really skinny. Many people couldn’t believe that I already have a 2 year old baby whenever I tell them. I look like a college student. I want to gain weight, but I like those who have sexy bodies not those flabby fats wringling or hanging on your skin. Heheh. You know what I mean.

I’m still on training as a QA right now. I have already been trained for 3 days. Then I was given a new account to handle together with a Senior QA. This is our 2nd day of being on training on the account itself. This is a newly acquired account in our company. We are trained together with the agents. We also need to know things about the account, so we can assess if the calls are good or not.  It’s difficult to be on the night shift. The first night, I was totally down. I would fall asleep sitting.  Specially that we are all in the room, and we just hear the voice of our trainer who is outside the country. We don’t see him on a video, we just hear him. And we also
see his computer so we can identify what he is talking about.

There are new challenges and difficulties to surmount in this new position. It’s more of how to handle people. I have to really show confidence in myself and project it to others as a QA. The senior QA I am with, happen to have a really strong personality.  And most of the time, she puts me on the spot just to see how I would react or perhaps she’s measuring how confident and competent I am.  And I’m like just a really quiet and reserve person. So, now, I’m forcing myself to adjust or let’s say trying to be in level with other QA’s. In my previous position, I could log in to my workstation and end my work without talking to anbody. And that’s what I like.
But now, I have to really start or learn mingling with others more. It’s not within my comfort zone. Sad to say, I have poor socialization skills.

But, I really have to do this. I am willing to learn, and I am open to improving myself more. It hurts since its not easy. I wish I could change it overnight, but in life there are some things that doesn’t happen in a snap. I am praying that I will be able to make it in this job. I pray that I can bear all the challenges as I just discovered its not really an easy job. As I’ve said its more on how I would handle and deal with different people. That’s honestly my weakest link, and I know its kinda funny but I just had issues in my past when my life was all controlled by my relatives’, which resulted in my poor self-esteem despite my academic achievements. I would say I was in trauma because of those experiences and it’s just hard to really let it go all at once. But I have decided that I won’t let it limit me in any way forever. That’s why even if its hard, I am really doing my best to find my self, to work on my strengths and to create my life according to how I want it to be. (ofcourse in accordance to God’s plan)! He is still my big boss.