faher

I don’t know, but there’s something about this day that makes me sad. Initially, I made a conscious effort to be happy and just think of how my husband is as a father to my own child. But there’s something that makes me sad thinking about this day. Something I have tried to forget. I realized now, that thinking about how my father is as a father to me and my sister, is the thing that makes me sad. I feel sad, that I did not grow up with him. I feel sad, that on a critics evaluation, he wouldn’t pass to be a good father. But, thinking about the few times I was with him, and realizing that I missed him, makes me sad. If I could have change things, I would choose to keep my family of origin together. But, it wasn’t a choice dependent on me. I was a child then. It was my parent’s decision. Sad, but that’s life. And I have to move on. I just want to reminisce this day, and wish that he is doing fine, and that someday, I would get to see him again. I hope, by that time, he would be someone I could be proud of, and not be ashamed of.  I wanted to wish that he is more responsible so we could buy a house and a home insurance for us, and not just live with our grandmother (who was a sort of control fr**k) but I can’t change things and all I can do is to work hard for my family and be positive for our future.

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