Creative Thoughts

Archive for January, 2009

I’ve read some time ago, that one secret to improve our self esteem and confidence is for us to see tangible proofs of our achievements. Achievements that are most valueable to us, like awards from school if you are academically inclined, acting awards if you are an actor or an actress, singing awards if you are a singing and anything lined up with your passion. We are mostly proud of achievements that we really worked hard for. So, when I learned about this, I immediately resolved to display my medals from school and competitions I’ve joined and won before like declamation, tula and oration contests. Most of these medals are from my high school years too. When I graduated valedictorian in high school, I got a lot of medals along with other academic awards like Best in Computer, Student of the year, etc. I got different medals from respective college schools along with offers to study in their specific schools and universities. When I was young, I worked so hard for the wrong reasons. Approval from others, admiration, to be famous, to be highly looked up and respected, to be valuable which I never felt from my relatives where we grew up. If I had been to a good and loving family, it would have been different. I never would have ever needed all those quest for approval. But, despite all of these, I am thankful that God gave me difficulties and trials in order to become the best person that I am capable of becoming. If my family was okay, I could have been more relaxed and less motivated. So somehow, I am grateful for the life I had cause it made me who I am now. Now, I learned about life, through the hard way. And I am grateful that I no longer long for all those things I’ve been longing before. Since I had a family, a loving husband and a very adorable and lovable daughter, I found myself. I am working very hard, doubly hard than before, but now, its for the right reasons. Motivations which are internal and not those that are not real. My motivation is deeper now. I longed to give my family, a good life and that’s it. I longed to be with my family, most of the time and I really don’t care about fame or anything like that. So, I am just relaxed in my work. I am not anymore longing to be the best person for everybody to noticed or anything like that. I learned that fame, can make you different. Sometimes, you have to hide or change the real you just to fit in to the perfect person they are holding in mind. All that matters to me now, is my happiness and that of my loved ones. Sometimes, we need to take a step backward, to assess our lives.
Is that thing that you are spending your time with worthy of this all? Will that change your life for good or its something that wont last long? Do you really have to sacrifice time for your kids just for that project you are working on? Is it worth it?

The hubby has been staying in the house now for more than 3 months. What I mean is, he is not working. It has been a family decision, cause we are waiting for his employment to Canada. Hopefully, it will be realized. We are continuously praying for it. We don’t know if it will be given to us yet, which means we are not 100 percent sure yet, anything can happen. But, we are relying unto God. We know that He has good plans for us. Plans to prosper us and to improve our lives. As you can see, he is the one who is always attending to the little store, and also exchanges with my mom in taking care of the little one. I can see he is a bored, cause he is used to working. He has thought a lot of times about working, while waiting for his employment, but due to some situational factors, he really has to stay. I really hope and pray that our plans will push through, cause it will pave the way for a very good future for us and he also wants to help his family. Who knows, someday we might have our own mini grocery which is just one of my big dreams. If that happens, I know I have to invest in a good quality barcode scanner to make it easier for us to track our profit. Please help us pray about this. Thank you to everyone.

It’s still makes me cry and emotional whenever I think about the life we had before, a year ago or months before that. We really had nothing. It was one of the lowest points of my life. I had nothing. No security and no back fall if everything else fails. And we never relied on anyone. We had not much of an experience in life, and we really really started from scratch. There were lots of lonely and troubled moments. But, somehow I resolved not to fail and not to surrender to our situation. I continued dreaming big dreams and hope for the best, despite the bad situation I can see we are in, which deemed to be hopeless at some points in our lives. We were starting out our own little family, which was not planned, and which just came because of some mistakes, which turned out to be the turning point in my life, and such a blessing in disguise indeed.
For the last year, 2008, I was able to realize some goals that I set my mind to.
First, I got regularized in my job as a technical support agent. Second, I am now in my first year anniversary in the company where I worked for. I couldn’t have appreciated it much, if not for my sad experience in my previous company where I got kicked off at a time that we really need money and my husband has no work at all, and the baby was just coming. I couldn’t forget that very sad event. Third, we were able to find a very nice house compared to the one we previously had. Not really nice for you, but for us it is compared to our previous abodes. We had no problem with the owner, its really a house and not a room for rent or something, the space is 4x bigger than what we had before, it has a space where we can sell or make a store which we eventually did, we liked the neighborhoods – the people are nice, and its near my work place, just a walk away unliked before, when I have to ride 2 jeepneys going to work and another 2 going back home. It was expensive for us. Fourth, we were able to buy a computer. Yes, remember, when I started our blogging, I just blog in internet cafe’s or at work that’s why I got so thin, not eating sometimes and just researching about blogging all the time. Fifth, we were able to set up our very own store, one of the longest goals I’ve had this year, which took time to become realized but eventually did. Sixth, I learned or discovered about blogging which was a super blessing to our family. Okay, I won’t be afraid to say that I made around 20,000 pesos this year in blogging alone. Imagine, I only spend an hour or less blogging and I don’t have to do it daily. I only do it if I like. I’m hoping that with the knowledge I already have, I would be able to double or increase this earning. Seventh, I was the employee or agent of the month for November because of exemplary performance. Eight, I got 2 kudos calls for this year, while other agents don’t even have one. Kudos call is an appreciation call from guests or callers. Ninth, I learned to lessen television time and was very succesful at that. Tenth, saving enough money for my family in cases of emergency or anything else, and not spending my bonus on some material things such Rackmount lcd, gadgets, unnecessary clothes, luxurious fun or anything immediate that wont really last long. And I think, the list doesn’t end there. I knew I might have some forgotten small achievements, but anyways, I want to thank God for all of these. For giving me the courage to pursue my dreams and goals in life, and for making me stronger than before, after all I’ve been through. I would say that one secret for a fulfilling life is to know what you want and to chase after it with all your might. There are a lot of people who makes wishes, but only a few knows how to make these wishes come true. Luck is not something that comes to you, it is something that you have to act for. Ask for what you want, and it will be given unto you.

-Kiss on the stomach; be redi,…,