It has been said that in a relationship, if one is too needy, he or she would sap out the energy out of the other person and in the end the relationship is most likely to fail unless
the needy person starts to make some drastic changes. Too bad, but I admit I’m the needy one in our relationship. Ever since, I have battled with too many emotional issues.
I was doubting if I was supposed to write about this, cause I don’t want to impose any bad image on myself, but I guess, I just don’t care anymore.
All I need is to vent out. All I need is an outlet. People who would listen and be there for me. I started to doubt myself and had all of these issues when my dad left.
I know it’s not enough, you might say. But there were still other negative experiences that led me to this state of mind.
Not having our own home and just living together with our relatives who control our lives and decisions, and who made us feel like we can’t live without them.
Losing my real identity and letting them instill in my mind what I have to do and what I’m not supposed to do. In other words, I became a robot.
Hiding all my emotions and ideas within myself. This all led to hatred, negative and turmoil emotionally and psychologically.
I became too attached with the guys who made me feel special and important. It was a very big mistake to focus on love instead of my studies and of opportunties on my way.
I did everything to get out of the cage where I’m in, and without any experience or assurance of what’s going to happen, I ventured out on my own.
I clinged again to the love of a guy who was there for me in those times. And even if I didn’t know I could actually do it, it happened.
I gave in to my emotional weakness which led to me being pregnant. Those 9 months was full of emotional battles and depression, but he was there for me.
He never left and proved to me that he will never leave me. He has seen all the bad in me. My lack of emotional control, my being unreasonable, perfectionist and everything, he accepted me.
But still, as time and time goes, I now have a family, there is still a missing piece. I’m still full of hurts and pains.
It still comes out every now and then. I still have it within me, and it still haunts me. There are times that I don’t understand myself, and there are times when I feel like I’m alone even if I have them with me.
We had survived a lot of misunderstandings and battles because of his wide capability to understand my attitude. But there are times that i felt like he never understood at all.
Like he’s not there, even if he is. He is a good man, but I think his love for me is not enough or something.
I know, its me again. I know. The devil is still battling with my emotions and using it to ruin our relationship.
I have tried many times to change and to be better. Yes, there are improvements, but it is still there.
The anger, resentment, hatred and pain is still within me, it’s still haunting me and it is affecting my relationships.
I hope he will never leave, and I hope he will stay until the day would come that I would learn to love myself fully and to accept my weaknesses even if I’m not perfect.
I would do everything to become better, because I love my family. It makes me cry to think that one day he might get tired of me and leave to find a person who is better than me. That has always been my fear (partly because of my experience with my own dad leaving mom).
If ever that would happen, I would be totally hurt but I couldn’t blame him for anything.
If only there’s a passport to happiness, I would surely buy it. But it’s not easy as that. Life is really like this, so we have to deal with it. All I ever wanted is to live a happy and meaningful life.

Nowadays, saving on gas is indeed a great help. Good thing, my work is just a walking distance, and that saves us some bucks to spend on other more important things.
Our world is facing economic crisis and we really need to cope. People have been learning all sorts of strategies just to save some money to be spent on more essential things.
I have a friend at work, whose sideline is selling clothes on her multiply site, Buying and selling online is becoming more and more popular with the wide availability of the internet.
Anything is possible, if you have an idea. Paypal is one popular way of making sure your purchases are secured, but I just discovered there is still one more tool that we haven’t known yet.
buySAFE Shopping Advisor is a free tool that can make your online purchases hassle free, safer and more secure that you don’t have to worry so much if your transactions will push through or not.
With this tool, you can have access to the thousands of merchants which are guaranteed to deliver and has been proven for honesty and safetyness in dealing with transactions.
These merchants will really deliver because there is a bond guarantee of up to $25,000 that we customers don’t have to pay.
You don’t have to worrry about your identify, because of an ID theft protection.
If you have been doubtful of whether to try purchasing online or not, you have to vanish all of that now. You just have to take a leap of faith and try buysafe, and I’m sure you will not be disappointed.
Even if its a small site, you have a 100% guarantee that your transactions will go through.
BuySafe Advisor knows the trusted sites, so you better use it for you to have knowledge before you conduct your dealings online.
I have used it, and I can prove it works. I didn’t have any problem using it. It’s very convenient and easy.
You can have access to around 250,000 online stores, so you have lots of options.
Visit the site now, and have your first experience of a hassle and worry free online purchase by downloading the BuySAFE application.

buySAFE

I am surprised this week, because payu2blog has given me 3 assignments to do. As far as I can remember, usually its only 2 per week. Last week, I even only had one assignment to do.
Thanks to them, because they complemented that by giving me 3 assignments for this week. You just don’t know how happy I am, that I am with you. Even if ppp had left me hanging, you are still there.
Guys, if you are still not with them, you better join now, by applying your blog which has domain name. You need to maintain your blog first, and if you think the stats and ranking is okay, you can apply with them.
Payu2blog is really nice. They will be with you through thick and think. The assignments are very easy to do. With only 60 words per assignment, you don’t have to spend a lot of time. I usually finish mine in less than 10 minutes.
If you are a bit slow, that’s okay, no worries cause you don’t have to compete with time. What I mean is you are not given 12 hours or any hour limit to complete it. You have days to finish them, usually a week or less.
What could be more amazing than that? Payu2blog is the best, even if it doesn’t make your rich, you have assurance with them.

Our residence or shelter is a basic need that is really essential for us to live a decent life with our family.
It’s best to have one’s own abode so that you won’t have to worry about your next payment for the rent and you don’t have to worry about having to deal with landlords, specially those who have twisted brains.
If you’ve been renting, you would know what I mean. Finding a good place, is really important. Having a home is better but you have to know the best deals and know stuff such as mortgage quotes so that you can really maximize your resources instead of wasting it away and finding out few years after that you can’t afford to keep your home anymore.
We are thankful that we are in the right place now, after searching for so long.
We have seen how faithful and good God is to our family, despite of our lack of experience and enough knowledge on what we are to face. To add is the fact, that we are still very young and unprepared indeed to start out a family.
But, we made it. Our baby is now, 1 year old. We have been together as a family, for 2 years. We have changed houses a total of 5 times I think.
We experienced all kind of difficulties and struggles that almost ended everything. But, we are still here and we are still fighting.
I will continue to fight for my family and I promise to myself that I will do whatever it takes to improve our lives, so we can experience becoming free and financially independent.
I want my child to have more options when she grows up, and not become hooked up with a low profile job just because she has to survive.
I want her to enjoy life and have time and resources to discover her full potential. Now, that’s a mother’s thinking.

I never had a happy and complete family, but I have one now, and I plan to keep it forever.

I’ve mentioned that I am interested in becoming a level 3 certified agent, or a cisco certified so that my salary would increase, which would really be of great help to our family.
I’m not really a computer or technology fanatic in any way. I’m more on the logical and intellectual side of things such as science, english and philosophy. I excelled in my computer subjects both in high school and college, mainly because I have the
hands on experience necessary to learn the basics things about the computer world, which was not made available to my fellow classmates. I grew up in the province, and even if my school was a private one, most of my classmates came up from average or middle class family who don’t have any of those computer stuff at home.
While I on the other hand, was lucky to grew up in a family that started a college schools and ofcourse since it offers computer courses, I got to use and practice on the computer.
I remember the days when I would just spent the rest of my day playing those “ken” games. I still remember the game, and unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything like it right now. It’s the best game ever.
Well, seems like being a cisco certified agent is really difficult. I passed by in the server room of the company and got to see some used cisco devices. They look pretty interesting, and complicated.
Things which only technical guys like IT’s can understand, and can make an average person cross his brows.

It was my day off for the previous 2 days but I hadn’t been able to blog as much as I’d like to. That’s because we had been so busy setting up our mini sai-sari store. Yes, you heard it right. If you had been a follower of this blog, you will know that one of my dreams or goals is to start up a sari-sari store. It was originally planned to start on december. But, the hubby has finished the contract from his work, and right now, he is at home. I don’t like to see him bored doing nothing. I like him to get busy doing stuff so he will be energized and not look lethargic. I always don’t want him to be depressed, because I know in time, he will have another work that will provide for us. As of now, I am the only one working, but it’s not as worst as before, since now, we have saved enough money to sustain us during these times, and my salary has already increased since I have been promoted to LEVEL 2. I am now working on, or thinking about leveling up to LEVEL 3. Woo, wishful thinking. But, as they say, we have to dream big. Yeah, it’s really a big dream. Here in the company, we only have few LEVEL 3, less than 5 I think, not really sure. They have 10,000 pesos plus in their salary because passing the exam and going through the whole process of training is really a tough thing. I know you have heard of CISCO certification, that’s what I’m talking about. We have an in house CISCO training and exam all paid for by the company. And if you pass that, that would really mean promotion. Only few agents attempt that, because of the time and hassle it takes. But, I would want to be one of the few. Of course, I won’t let anyone know, because here at work, I am as simple as can be, and very quiet. But, they really don’t know my real capabilities and they don’t know what I can do. I don’t wanna talk about fame or whatever, but only about my family’s welfare. I am now planning to undergo a comprehensive self review, so when the time comes i would be picked to undergo the review and training here. Wish me luck! If I won’t make it, it’s okay. I will try and try. Every year, it is only once that we get to train.
By the way, going back to the store. We were so excited about it. It’s still small, because we want to test the waters first to see how it would go. Hopefully, it will be another way for us to improve our financial status. I am so excited, and I really had a headache trying to figure out the prices for all commodities. I am still not finish with the inventory.
It’s really fun, really. And we just kept thanking God, for all the blessings.

When you got nothing to do, here’s the result…..tsandarannnnnnnnnnnn……….aha!
What creative creatures?

If this is you, that you tend to be creative when your bored, you really must have a gift. You can use that to create beautiful things that will inspire and uplift people.

This Meme will be every Tuesday and the idea behind it would be that you get to “Toot Your Own Horn”.

What does that mean?
Well, it means every Tuesday, you get to post an accomplishment that you have done. As moms sometimes, we are quick in praising our kids and others about their accomplishments but we are “shy” when it comes to our achievements so … here is your chance.

What if you have no accomplishments?
Impossible! Moms have lots of accomplishments - whether big or small - we’ll take them. Still can’t think of any for the week’s post … no worries, tell us about somebody else’s accomplishment - your kids’ , husbands, pet’s, friend’s - we have to celebrate something right?

Let’s CELEBRATE our achievements together - what better way then by “Tooting out Own Horn”. Let us let the whole world know - that we are proud of our accomplishments!

MY VERDICT?

For me, this is such a great meme. There are a lot of meme’s out there but I strongly believe this is one of the best among the rest. I’m sure you are familiar of different meme’s that makes blogging more enjoyable. We have wordless wednesday, litratong pinoy that showcases photos direct from your own digicam or whatever device you have to take pictures. We have friday’s feast that has some questions presented in a feasible manner. But, well, yeah, for me this is really great. We need to be reminded of the great yet simple things we have accomplished so we can continue moving forward, and becoming better each day. Wherever we are in life, there’s always an area that we can improve on.

My Verdict? Tuesday Toot is Rated A. So, I encourage bloggers to participate on it, most specially to all the moms out there. Happy tooting!

I have announced that we already have internet connection at home. I really liked it so much. I have been waiting for it for so long, and I am hapy that now, I can blog at home after work.
Before, I couldn’t blog for long as much as I’d like to. You might be wondering why I’m still not blogging as much as I used to here in this blog. It’s because, I am busy with my celebrity blog, famous circle.
I had fun with it. Writing about a topic you are really good at and interested about is a good thing to do.
Though, I feel tired sometimes, I am energized every time I hear good feedback from it, or if I can see that the stats are improving.
The internet connection from PLDT for me is pretty fast though it seems to have a habit of dying down for about 30 minutes or more every late noon, at around 6 pm.
Even if this is not a brand new computer, I am amazed of its computer memory. I can say that the money we spent for this, is not wasted.
Hopefully, we can blog our way out of financial difficulties. I’m hoping and keeping my fingers crossed. Though, for some, blogging is as easy as getting paid, specially for those who know nothing about what’s happening in the blogging world,
we bloggers know that it isn’t easy, but it isn’t impossible. We can really earn from it. Blogging has helped us a lot with our financial resources, and I’m happy that it’s all being used for essential matters and not just material comfort or luxury to say so.